Signatures

I want to die
no matter how much I try,
always at the last second I pull back
don’t ask me why.

I see my reflection
glittering off the sharp silver metal,
right before the coolness
touches down unto my skin
and leaves its signature for me to see.

This signature that marks my body
is not the first nor will it be my last
for it's my freedom, no matter how briefly,
that takes my attention away from my pains
and turns it into something more bearable.

When my freedom leaves me
I am faced with the cold hard truth
that my pain will never fade
just like my signatures, for each is unique and never the same.

Yet I will continue with this practice
in hopes that I give my signature too deep
and finally be tempted into eternal sleep.

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