Choke on it...please

I think I've earned a few tokens of pity.
If not from someone else, I think I'll treat myself today.
One moment to scream at the world "Fucking pay attention to me!"
I'm hurt, someone throw me a pitiful look or fake word of encouragement.
I'll pretend it's real.
I'll smile and thank you for being so kind and for listening to me.
I'll know in the back of my mind you were praying for a phone call or way out.
But I'll take it.
I'll walk down the street with my head hung in sorrow to see if anyone looks.
Or if anyone has the guts to touch my shoulder and tell me things work themselves out.
Baring my soul, naked and exposed for the world to see my blackened heart.
Will anyone care?
No, the answer is no.
I know that, I wouldn't care either.
I'd try and I'd succeed for a while, but life happens.
And sadly my unimportant miniscule problems are a thousand times more important than your monumental crisis.
That is the way of the world and I've come to accept it.
I know my fragility and my hurt will not be treated carefully by anyone but myself.
I'm ok with that.
I won't bore the world with my sorrow.
Oh wait, I already have.
Well, rest assured I damn sure won't be taking pity for something I will survive on my own.
So keep your fake unwanted encouragement and choke on it.
It will give me some entertainment.

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