The Breath

Sometimes I wish I could breathe
But the air around me is just too thick
It is so cold and full of dread
I feel like the entire world is sitting on me
And that all their eyes are watching me
Just waiting for me to mess up so they can laugh
When will I be free of this misery?
When will I be able to breathe?

The fog around me is so dark and dense
I can't see their eyes, but I know they're there
I stumble through the world of desert
Caught in the worst of all sand storms
I want to give up, but I know still they wait
Ready to devour me whole
When will I be able to breathe?

And finally I fall...
I take that breath, and it sucks in deep
The pain is indescribable, unimaginable
And out of the shadows they come
Their laughing faces full of joy
Ready to eat that long evading prey
I reach for my final hope
A glowing soul, hidden deep inside

I pull it out, and their smiles fail
They shrink back in horrible pain
Screeching and screaming in complete torture
And finally I see, all along He was with me
That weight I felt, it was Him just waiting to be free
I get to my knees and at last understand
Never had He left me, and never will He
And as long as He is here, their eyes look away.
And again I breathe, but this time I breathe in the world
And exhale the dread and shame
I exhale the misery, and inhale His hope.

Responses

2 comments so far.

1. domino9 says:

   "But the air around me is just to thick"
   TOO thick

   "And that all their eyes are watching me"
   ALL THEIR EYES sounds awkward.

   "When will I be free of this misery?"
   I like the internal rhyme.

   "The pain is undescribable, unimaginable"
   INDESCRIBABLE.

   "And out of the shadows they come" I would put a comma at the end of that line.

   Screeching and screaming in complete torture
   SCREECHING AND SCREAMING-- I'm not hearing it...

   Love the last line! Once again, good work.

2. Joshua Pilger says:

   I wan't to thanks for the grammar corrections, I normally have my friends and family check within a week, and I fix them all. This one is newer so nobody has looked at it yet.

   Thanks for the tips and for the comment. Love to hear the words, bad or good.