tomorrow

what am i doing today.
mutilating hope between self-help tangents
while non-repetitious tunes of regret and lost
souls fill my head...
one...
more...
time.
i think about options i don't choose
in places i'll never see.
and of course the easy way out.
the convent.
jumping from a cliff.
so i drown once again...
in myself.
i have my fine days, don't let me bullshit you,
but today...
today i am nothing more than self-indulged...
verge of insanity.
or maybe i just wish.
i'm never careful what i wish for,
but i do like barbie doll camper surprises.
i'm not old and i feel...
i don't know how i feel.
i could give you an estimate.
i think i need to check into the library today.
they have a special on time.
bring your mind and maybe you too can waste
your precious hours.
two, three, i love when i'm there forever.
then i'll go back where it's safe
where i can listen about past loves and how
awful life is.
o, but i know somewhere deep down it's grand.
maybe i am strong somehow
yesterday i didn't know
today is almost always over
and tomorrow is another page.
what am i doing.

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