Explanation

all of the bruises are surfacing now,
reminding me of my moments of hatred
for myself.
i can't make anyone understand,
but i can try to explain how it felt...

it's like nowhere to go
and no one to hear
every nightmare and ghost scare
and whatever's in between.
it's like all the years without a mother
wrapped into one moment of pain.
it's like the day your first pet died.
and all the minutes you were ashamed.
it's like all the stomach aches
and all the broken bones.
it's like those dreaded phone calls home,
when you're already late.
it's like glimpsing into darkness
and seeing nothing at all.
it's like having your head spin so fast
that all you can do now is feel
and fall.

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