Comments for poem: alliteration's frustrations

Comment by peter hollamby

Thu, 08 Mar 2007 18:37:07 -0800

i really like this, it got me thinking. lost-love is a subject thats hard to capture with this much honesty, good work!

Comment by Erica Aiden

Thu, 27 Dec 2007 20:08:41 -0800

The rhyme here feels forced sometimes, like in the 4th and 14th lines. Great alliteration, though!

Comment by Orpheus .

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 04:24:19 -0800

If dadaism could make the transformation from art to poetry, this would be it. ee cummings may have done it but his cut-and-random construct method was a little more crafted. The last two lines remind me of a painting - Picasso may have tried something like this in his more surreal moments. Erica has a point too.

Comment by nameless S

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 20:48:18 -0800

Thanks for the criticism guys you're right, ill try to tweek it a bit